Queen Photon

Ever since 45 won the election, which coincidentally dovetailed with the unfolding of the solar company I was a part of, I was pretty depressed. As a growing female leader, I was devastated. Sick of sexist comments and constantly being underestimated at my place of work, I was looking forward to seeing America finally smash the ultimate glass ceiling. As a passionate employee in the renewable energy economy, I was worried about my job. With a corrupt leader that looked to favor fossil fuel interests, how would investors behave? As a global citizen I was terrified of the hateful rhetoric the US was so overtly embracing and what it would mean for the earth and everyone on it. The time I put into work became symbolic for me. I fought hard. It felt good to fight until there was no fight left. Even though the fight looked like a losing battle. I fought because there was a team and contractors to think about. I care deeply about the skilled individuals and boots on the ground, that d...

I don't really have a home. When my parents moved from the childhood home in the Central Valley, it was a bit of a relief, but I couldn't call the places they have lived subsequently to be "home." That idea of a place as a home has always been a bit elusive anyway. It tends to be the feeling I get when I'm with people who I have known for a long while and love dearly. The BART subway and all the diversity and humanity in it feels like home. Walking along the streets and visiting the locals I know so well feels like home. The coastline and scenery in the North Bay feels like home. Driving with my Dad in silence feels like home. A special apartment in San Francisco, a prior life of mine, still inhabited by friends feels like home. A dinner with the friends I've come to love and trust the most feels like home. Sharing a bed with my sister because there is no other bed when I'm at my parents house feels like home. Reading my little niece a story feels like h...

In coming to terms with the heartbreak of watching a solar company like Sungevity struggle, I'm looking at what made me love that place so much and why I fought so hard/stuck with it. It's because this guy, Danny Kennedy, didn't just build a business, he built a place with a lot of heart and soul that attracted a special kind of employee. Particularly at the end there, I woke up every day feeling like I was fighting for my colleagues and contractors jobs. It wasn't about me, it was about the collective. Shit got pretty emotional for me. In my on-boarding, Danny showed us the hidden stop sign in the Sungevity logo - a little reminder to all of us that amidst the daily slog of a job, we truly were working to stop climate change. The Black Lives Matter movement was just taking shape in Oakland and I remember him saying, "Black lives do matter, and I will be at that march." I also noticed that a solid portion of my incoming class was female - clearly they we...